koch storyMayor, Democrat claim ‘Koch is poisoning’ city politics after Kochs don’t get involved in local race

One Democrat’s decision to make the Koch brothers an issue in his local campaign has voters rallying to his cause.

No, wait. They didn’t.

And he was overwhelmingly defeated.

In a heated battle against Republican challenger Lenny Curry, Jacksonville, Fla. Mayor Alvin Brown did what every liberal does when trailing in the polls, or stubs their toe.

Brown blamed the Koch brothers for everything.

In a televised ad, Brown accused Curry of being under the control of the Koch corporate empire.

The connection?

Curry was once the chairman of the Florida Republican Party

The Kochs donated to the state Republican Party.

Therefore, Curry is a puppet of the Koch brothers.

It should be noted the Kochs have not donated to Curry.

“Party boss Curry raked in tens of thousands of dollars from the Koch brothers for the Republican Party of Florida and now the Republican Party of Florida is helping bankroll Curry’s partisan campaign which has been short of substance, but full of partisan attacks,” the Brown campaign said in a rambling statement that was probably comprised of letters cut out of magazines.

The Kochs are an issue because a) Brown is insane, and b) they own Georgia Pacific, which is accused of polluting a local river.

Brown’s decision to accuse Curry of being aligned with polluters is bizarre because A) Brown is insane, B) Curry is not connected to the Kochs, and C) Brown, however, has raked in cash from companies that actually did pollute the river.

“Alvin and Florida Democrats have taken hundreds of thousands of dollars from corporations in backroom meetings, companies that are the targets of environmentalists. Alvin is trying to hide his relationship with billion-dollar polluters,” the Curry campaign responded in a statement.

Undeterred, Brown continued with the Kochcentric campaigning, claiming in tweets that the Curry campaign was a conspiracy to place Jacksonville under evil Koch control.

“’The Koch Brothers are poisoning our river and our politics’ – @jaxdotcom on Curry’s billionaire backers,” Brown tweeted, presumably while adjusting a tin foil beanie.

Again, the Kochs did not donate to any Jacksonville mayoral candidate.

In the end, voters reacted predictably, by yawning and wondering who the crazy rambling man was. They sent their incumbent mayor and his Harry Reidesque Koch obsession packing.

If he’s looking for a job, I hear Georgia Pacific is hiring.