butterflyNew eco-scheme may boost sales of windshield cleaner

Who will save the Earth from environmentalists?

Acting on environmentalist claims that bees and butterflies are going extinct, Barack Obama has unveiled a “strategic plan” to boost their numbers.

And it could be the dumbest idea ever.

Obama plans to help monarch butterflies by “expanding pollinator habitat on rights-of-way.”

That sounds nice, but the dumb is in the details.

Specifically, the Obama administration is going to spend millions turning all of Interstate 35, from Duluth, Minn. To the Mexican border, into a massive butterfly habitat.

In other words, Obama want to help the butterflies…by luring them into the paths of millions of high-speed windshields.

The Obama plan would discourage highway departments from mowing in rights-of-way or applying herbicide. He hopes it will increase the spread of milkweed.

This will probably end like other environmentalist exercises in idiocy.

In 1995 ecofreaks spent thousands of taxpayer dollars building a “toad tunnel” in Davis, California to protect a common species of toad that wasn’t endangered.

The tunnel ended up being a death trap. Toads, being smarter than environmentalists, didn’t want to use a tunnel to cross a road.

The tunnel then had to be lit to encourage toads to use it. The lights ended up cruelly roasting the toads alive.

Birds, being smarter than both toads and environmentalists, soon realized the “toad tunnel” was nothing more than a food conveyor belt. They began congregating at the end of the tunnel to eat the toads as they emerged.

Thanks to the environmentalists, crossing the road is now even deadlier to toads than it was before they intervened.

The city had to spend even more money building a miniature town at the end of the tunnel to protect the toads from the birds, which they attracted in the first place.

Environmentalists are now trying to pass off their successful toad-slaughtering project as a kooky tourist attraction.

Who would have though luring animals into a roadway was a bad idea?

So, good luck, monarch butterflies, you’re going to need it.

And good luck to anyone using driving down I-35. You may want to refill your windshield wiper fluid.